Traditional 'mithai' ... passe ?

Diwali for me is associated with family, festivities and food. It was a time when the sisters would come down to the  family home and we would stay up late, chatting or playing cards. My parents would have their teen patti (card session) and it would be fun to watch them slipping back into a carefree mood with their friends. I was never much of a card player but my elder sister would join in when mom would get up to organise the nashta (snacks) for everyone.

There has always been a tradition of gifting sweets on Diwali and it has continued till date, albeit with changing times, it is no longer just traditional mithai, gifting too has acquired more cosmopolitan hues. Baked goods like cakes and brownies are being lapped up a lot. The other day when I was getting ready a brownie order, I couldn't help thinking how times have changed. Though, for me - the traditional mithai any day.

These brownies are a favorite with my children but when I was trying out the menu for Farm Goodness, I toyed with  some more fancier recipes - but in the end I chose these as not only are they fudgy but also very chocolatey  without being cloyingly sweet. I like to cut them into good sized squares, so though originally for 12 pieces but we keep them at nine.

So here is my decadent brownie recipe which is a quick mix once all the ingredients have been assembled.

Nutty Fudge Brownie

1/2 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup flour

2 large eggs

4 tablespoons cocoa

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

pinch of salt

1/2 cup walnuts, chopped

2 ounces semi- sweet chocolate, chopped

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Grease a baking pan. Preheat oven to 350 degree F.

Cream the butter well, then add the sugar and beat well together till creamy. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Now fold in the flour -cocoa dry mixture into the butter mix until well combined.

Add in the chopped walnuts. then the semi sweet chocolate, mix till well incorporated. Spread the batter evenly and bake for 25- 30 minutes. Cool for an hour and then cut into squares.

Perfect weekend snack ... 'pakoris'

It's a lovely day here in White Plains, New York. Since it's a weekend, there is lot more activity outside. The son's apartment window has a great view, -it's my favorite place where I sit and watch people hurrying past on their way to work, or parents dropping off toddlers to school. After the morning rush of office goers, it is people going with their trolleys for grocery shopping. On a nice day like this, the park just bang opposite, has a group of oldies enjoying the gentle cool breeze and lazing on the bench.

I was here a few months back, and though this trip came all too soon but  a chance of visiting the children was not something, I could miss. I did finally decide to fight off the challenge of a 15 hour flight, for nothing is more fulfilling than spending time with your children.

Since I have come, been cooking mostly Indian meals, as this is one thing that they miss the most - having  wholesome home cooked food. The Indian food scene is pretty dismal here, the other day we had ordered Indian food, the whole works - daal makhani, kadhai paneer, naan and other sundries.The veg tasted like nothing we have back home, couldn't believe that this was being passed of as Indian food and if that was not bad enough, it was expensive to boot. Some raw vegetables cooked in tomato puree with lots of red chilli powder added to make it spicy -  seriously, what this place needs is an Indian joint serving authentic food.

 Of course this is not the case in say Pittsburgh (where my daughter is) which has some great places for good Indian food, and why only Indian, the food scene is amazing there, no wonder it has been voted as the best new food city 2014 by Bon Appetit. On my wish list is tasting Prantl's Burnt almond torte, touted as the Best Cake that  America has to offer by no less than Huffington Post. The daughter has been coaxed into getting it when she comes over to Delhi for her winter break, later this year.

Coming back to White plains - since it was the son's day off  we did away with the regular food and made pakoris (vegetable fritters) for him. Served with a sprinkling of my home made chaat masala they tasted amazing. The son enjoyed this change from routine food a lot and so did we. Everyone hogged  so much that any chances of having dinner was out of the question. The husband was the master chef for today and I have to admit he did a great job and fed all of us very lovingly.


Aloo and Pyaaz pakoris (Vegetable fritters)

2 medium sized onions, peeled and chopped fine
2 medium sized potatoes peeled and diced
6-7 green chillies, chopped
2 cups besan (chickpea flour)
1 teaspoon red chilli powder
1 teaspoon salt or to taste
2 cups oil
Water as per requirement
2 tablespoon chaat masala

Batter for the fritter's

Dice the onions and potatoes into  very small pieces. Destalk the chillies and cut them into roundels or any shape that you fancy. Next make the batter, mix the chickpea flour with water, just enough to get a dropping consistency. Once the batter is mixed with appropriate amount of water, whisk it well to aerate the batter. This whisking helps in making soft pakoris with a crisp outer covering.

Finally once the batter is well aerated add in the diced vegetables, salt and red chillies. Mix in well till all the vegetables are well coated. Heat the oil in a wok (kadhai)  on medium heat. Then drop the batter by spoonful into the hot oil. Frying the pakoris at the right temperature is the key to getting it right, if the oil is too hot the fritters will quickly brown on the outside but remain uncooked from the inside, a low temperature results not only in soggy fritters but also oil soaked ones. So maintain an equitable temperature wherein they are well done inside and have a crisp outer covering. Once they turn a nice golden shade, more towards the darker side, drain them well on the paper napkins and serve hot with a generous sprinkling of chaat masala alongside some nice tangy coriander chutney which just so completes it.

Sizzling in the heat

Enjoy this lovely snack which can be had anytime of the day- yup I have even made it for breakfast on a rain soaked Delhi morning. A perfect finger food on such a day with the Indian masala 'chai'

Ready to eat

Sights n smells of Dilli 6

So I am once again at what seems to be of late turning out to be my favorite haunt Chandni Chowk. Only last week I was here for the jam bottles that I had ordered.  This time around it was the cake pans and muffin liners that got me here. Now don't get me wrong, I have often made trips to this part of Delhi - the Walled City, but nonetheless it still requires some steeling up to brave the chaos of this place. With 'Teej' round the corner I have been dying to eat some nice, melt in the mouth 'ghevar' (honeycomb sweetmeat) and though Bengali Market is just next door with its two very popular sweet shops but somehow their ghevar has never matched the ones I remember eating in my home state of UP- the sweet used to be creamish with a soft texture and one did not need any of the heavy 'khoya' which is such a fad now.

A street view of Sirkiwalan bazaar

Chandni Chowk is a place which is never short on buzz - the milling crowds, the innumerable hawkers, small little masjids and mandirs - also, you name it virtually everything of your daily needs is available here in its narrow lanes where every nook and corner and every square inch has been occupied by someone selling one thing or another. One has to be prepared to do a fair amount of walking if you want to explore its meandering lanes and bylanes. The place is one big 'mela' everyday ... you need to be an amazing trapeze artist to walk this age old  historical bazaar without stepping on to someones toes or still worse getting stepped over.

Bade Miyan's famous kheer

But of course, my hidden agenda to come here is to gorge on its sumptuous street food - that is something to swear by, what with its original and authentic rich flavors. This place is a virtual treasure trove of shops which have been around for generations and which have passed on its recipes over generations and uncompromisingly maintained its standard. One such place is this delightful sweet shop, selling just one single item - an Indian delicacy, 'kheer' (a staple in most Indian households on festive occasions). This was the famous Bade Miyan"s kheer shop at Lal Kuan. One look at the creamy texture and I knew this was not to be missed experience. The kheer (rice pudding) had a brownish tinge to it which only comes after hours of cooking the milk on a slow fire. The milk had thickened to a malai like consistency and it was a very rich looking dessert. Sure enough, one bite into this lovely concoction of milk and rice and the wonderful creamy texture of the kheer came through, seldom have I tasted such well-made (though, very painstakingly) kheer.This labor of love is also fed to you with equal  amount of love and affection. A must visit shop if you are nearby, if for nothing else then just to experience the old world hospitality which is so rare in the Delhi I live in.

Bade Miyan's old world hospitality

Came across this very interesting looking fruit called canary melon or 'Sarda'- apparently an import from our neighboring country and eaten a lot during this holy month of fasting.

Sarda

A lot of carts selling dates too - again eaten a lot in fasts, for it is also a thirst quencher. This area had shops selling utensils and perforated ladles.One of them looked interesting and I was in two minds to pick it up but realized it was too huge for home cooking.

 One time I had got this interesting masala  (spice) packet for making 'kachori wale aloo' and one of the ingredients listed in the masala was 'kachri', a wild variety of cucumber which grows in Rajasthan - available in Delhi in its dried form, it is powdered and added to food for its tangy flavor. Chandni Chowk is probably one of the few places in Delhi that you can hope to get 'kachri'. I came across this shop with its quaint old style doors painted an interesting green. The huge crowd outside was what drew my attention. I was curious to see what they were selling that was attracting such a rush! Turned out to be spices, of all types, whole, powdered, special masalas for different types of curries, they even had some dal masala. I stood there thinking how to make myself heard in that din  and then I heard someone asking for 'kachri' - at last I was able to get hold of this elusive vegetable and see what it looked like. As I said this place has it all!

The spice shop and it's green door

 Feeling very excited after my last purchase - seriously how the smallest of things can make one feel so happy, I then bought my baking wares and some cute muffin liners.

Then it was time to search for the ghevar shop whose name I did not know- my only clue was some place in Chandni Chowk called 'Gali Shankar'. Now an interesting trend in this area is that when you ask people for directions mostly they would tell you it is just a little further away. I think that is a good ploy because if I had known when I started searching for this sweet shop that it would require me to cover virtually more than half of Sitaram Bazaar (one very well-known street in Chandni Chowk), I might not have gone through it ; that just around the corner bit kept me going till after a never ending walk by the end of which I was cursing myself for carrying my fetish for having desi ghee ghevar to such levels.I reached this much revered shop for quality sweets,but I was out of luck; the ghevar which obviously seems to be hugely popular had sold out by evening. All that was readily available was sev ki barfi, typically a Lucknow speciality.  Btw before you think that it is just another sweet shop, it turned out to be one expensive sweet - at 480/ a kg it had better be good. So now before sawan (monsoons) ends I think I will be making another trip here or otherwise it will be a wait of one whole year to taste this sweet as it is mostly prepared only in the months of sawan - little chance that my sweet tooth would let a year go by!!!

Ghevar shop's freshly made sev ki barfi

Ghevar shop's freshly made sev ki barfi 

Sleepless in Delhi

Delhi is huge, with every inch of space covered by buildings (Ridge would probably be, one of the few forested patches left in the city). But when one decided to go house hunting (we are thinking of giving our house a makeover and like the architect said that you need a high degree of tolerance to stick around .... so moving out seemed a more obvious thing to do) the actual picture is very dismal, not very many areas match the parameters of good, neat and peaceful living.

East and West were not on our radar, over populated with little infrastructure (if at all you can call it one) ... did not even pass muster for us to check out any dwellings there.

Central Delhi was undoubtedly the obvious choice ... the ideal place to live but rentals are mind boggling, and we simply had no intention to spend living in a temporary accommodation as much as it would perhaps cost us for the makeover. What was left was South Delhi - we already had a taste of South Delhi some years back ... thinking that it would be closer to hubby's workplace (Gurgaon), we had moved in to one of the so called posh South Delhi locality - a favorite among expats and embassy crowd. Our neighbors had some construction work going on at their place ... a pretty normal thing, but then there was a house behind ours (which was separated by the service lane), which too had some repairs going on. Sharp, 9 'o' clock in the morning the drilling machines would start and the noise between the two renovation sites was enough of 'jugalbandi' to deafen you - it did drive me crazy enough and it seemed endless, to switch back to my former residence. A sensible move because six months later when I visited the place we had temporarily lived in, the work next door was still in full swing, in fact they had enlarged the renovations they had planned and it was filled with construction labor and to add to the chaos the house facing ours (opposite the road) was being broken down to build swanky 'designer floors'. This time when the hubby suggested the option of going back, I shuddered imagining the nightmare the place would be with constant 'builder activity'. 

Apartments next to the Yamuna bed seemed a suitable option; they were central and offered all the amenities of a gated community. They had been built in 2012 and served as Commonwealth Games Village, used to house the players from various countries. They did get a bad press at that time and people were reluctant to move in to begin with, but given the space crunch in the city, families have started moving in - and honestly the place is more spruced up since then and is quite nicely maintained - green and open. The apartments are pretty compact and encourage minimalist living ... storage space is limited to a couple of closets. This suits me fine with my limited wardrobe, but not for the gen next ... my daughter probably would have to hold a yard sale to do away with half of her wardrobe if she were to ever think of moving in here.

CWG seemed nice, but too many Towers have been squeezed into a limited space ...  right now one of the better places to move considering our limited options but once it fills up, the place could well turn into a hell hole unless space and privacy is not high on one's agenda. We still haven’t struck it off !!

We also explored Noida, maybe it was my UP roots beckoning me - it was a complex on the Expressway ... (made by one of the better known builders of this satellite township) one of the earliest to come up in the area, and it showed - the outer facade looked worn out and so did the flats -the place itself was a maze ... like Jantar Mantar's 'bhool bhulaiya' - if nothing, it sure guarantees to keep you fit if the walk from the car park to the apartment was anything to go by. On the way back from Noida, a bunch of guys were trying to flag cars down posing as roadside sellers and seemingly harassing the car owners ... we didn't need any further proof that Noida was not the place for us - the law and order situation here scares the hell out of you.

Next Saturday was spent exploring the likes of Park Place, Mayfair and Central Park of Gurgaon - we conjured up images of a little London or New York in our midst. Truth hit us home when we saw them ....the surroundings were a far cry from anything even remotely close to the Big Apple or Central London. 

Truth is not far to seek - Delhi has been killed by the greed of the politicians in cohoots with land sharks. Permitting  builder floors was the death knell of this once, historically and culturally rich city which was open and green all around.

After a whole day of house hunting, we had a new found respect for our apartment, the worn out patches seemed a minor aberration and my kitchen minus its modular status still gleamed - not posh, nor swanky, but it was home. It did not take much to realize that we should be grateful for what we have ... it was warm and welcoming, I think the renovation would be on hold for some time till we find a utopian home. 

I am open to suggestions from my readers and fellow bloggers. Anybody!

Pleasures of suburban living

A vacation is always something to look forward to and more so when it means a respite from Delhi's tortuous summer where one gets nicely baked. I was travelling to the US  to meet up with both my children and ostensibly to help my son set up his apartment - a 22 year old kid was now a working man of a proud mother. 

When I started packing it seemed we would have a couple of pieces of luggage but somehow our list of things  kept getting bigger and by the end of it we had four huge suitcases stuffed to the T - there were eats for the kids, boondi ladoos for the daughter, samosas and kachoris for my son - all  typical Indian fare which they missed gorging on. I too wanted to carry my essential Indian spices for I knew I would start longing for my ghar ka khana after a few days of restaurant bingeing. Plus some stuff for the son which I thought (mistakenly) he would possibly require. 

Travel light is is a lesson I learnt on very early ... the time when we heaved and panted up our London apartment is something I won't forget in hurry or another time in Copenhagen when we discovered that our  beautiful apartment was on the third floor of a period building - guess that's how these Danes remain so fit. This was one such folly I wouldn't have repeated but for the fact that this time around they were essentials that couldn't be dispensed with. Our plans of taking a train to White Plains, from NYC had to be shelved and it was the yellow cab for us. The fares here are mind boggling and if we start converting to our currency you feel ripped off.

White Plains is a mere half an hour away from NYC and falls in the Westchester County. The journey from JFK passed in a blur- guess too jet lagged but what got encapsulated as we entered White Plains was the greenery around.

What draws me to any of the developed nations is the impeccable way in which things are maintained, the infrastructure is unfailing, all most all utilities will function normally ... this predictability in your everyday life is a huge plus and the overall neatness is a part and parcel of the Western world. White Plains was no different ... spotlessly clean, modern facilities, enviable quality of life and of course the lovely fresh air which you so very much miss in dusty Delhi ... in fact I could not help wondering that it is better than living in the happening NYC !

My son has a corner apartment in North Broadway with huge glass windows which overlook the Main Street, bang in the heart of this suburban city. One could spend hours just gazing outside and watch the world go by ... right across was a park which would be filled on weekends - young mothers would get their kids to play. On the opposite side was another park where a group of old ladies would congregate to catch up.

The lush green park 

There is a sense of community living in this place where the locals interact more with each other. On weekdays, you could see the hurried paces of office goers early in the morning ... and the somewhat more relaxed walk later in the evening when off the hook ... ah! these corporate and sleep deprived souls ... this aspect and the mechanical life that they lead 5 days in a week is somewhat depressing ... seen my hubby and uff now my son ... is there nothing we can do to change this (more about this some other time ... perhaps in another blog)

I love travelling and visiting new places but what mostly happens is that after a week or two I start to feel homesick, at a certain level the impersonal West starts getting to me and I miss the much used to boisterousness and warmth of our people back home.  So however, much I might lament about the heat and dust but my heart beats for my home country. So was with being here, after the initial enthusiasm had worn out I had a sudden rush of nostalgia for Delhi. But I must add, gradually as I lived on and got familiarized with my surroundings it  grew on me and before I knew I had started to enjoy being there. I wonder what one wants - fact is one is greedy and desires to have the best of both the worlds ... such is life!!!

White Plains is a very self-contained city and many multinationals have offices here yet, after New York's concrete jungle, its leafy green surroundings are very calming. While it has all the facilities of a big city it has retained its suburban charm. It’s a very peaceful, uncomplicated living with all the amenities at a stone's throw. From our apartment at North Broadway the shopping area was a mere five minutes’ walk. All the big major chains Whole Foods, Shop Rite, Walmart, Target, and Sears were there. So were innumerable eating joints. Only thing this place needs are few more Indian restaurants. my hubby could not help quipping that I should give it a try ... I laughed it off as good try of a mid-aged husband wanting to get more stag time, no way, tough luck !!.

Having lived in New York too I find the quality of life here in White Plains far more amazing, this place gives a suburban life style with the added bonus of being so close to the city for anyone missing the bright lights. There is an express train to Grand Central which barely takes 30 minutes and if you are not travelling during peak hours you can be sure of a comfortable travel. My stay here has been so enjoyable that I am loathed to leave this place, over a period of time it has grown on me and I will be taking back very fond memories of White Plains.

A local artisanal fair in the nearby park

 One would I guess have to wait for such life style in India - Modi's smart city... Seems a far cry, in our lifetime.

Childhood nostalgia captured in a jar!

Making jams and preserves is a great way to enjoy the season's bounty long after the season has ended. Winters are long past but we are still savoring its citrusy bounty in my orange marmalade - slathered on a whole wheat toast or just spooning some of it into the yoghurt.

In yesteryear preserving seasonal fruits, was more for keeping things when they were available in plenty. In today's time when you get practically everything all the year round, the reason for preserving fruits appears to be entirely different - it is indeed the health bug which has bitten the more aware and the more affluent. Homemade stuff seems a healthy, unadulterated option and also as it is sure to taste more superior to anything found on the supermarket shelves.

I am often asked how exhausting it must be to stand in the kitchen overseeing and closely monitoring the entire process ... fruits being selected, washed, being chopped, soaked, stirred and so on ... yes there is undoubtedly a whole lot of effort involved in handling all that fruit, weighing, testing the jams and preserves for a set ... but it doesn't seem a task because I enjoy doing it. In fact a sense of calmness engulfs me and I am totally focused on the task at hand. It's a great feeling to be able to relate to something so delicious particularly when you sense and feel the freshness, the taste and health that is embodied in it. The best part comes when each batch is to be is the sampled and  you wait anxiously to see the reaction ... is it a big and instant smile, a somewhat forced one, or worse unable to elicit a reaction. Fact is that the appreciation of  family and friends is so cherished  and makes it all worth it and it is only when the acceptance is unconditional and near unanimous that I feel that yes this is ready for being put in the market. 

If you, like me grew up with Enid Blyton’s you would understand my fascination for strawberry jam - served with scones and clotted cream! The secret to a good strawberry spread lies in retaining its fresh flavor and texture. Strawberry is a low pectin fruit, so results in a soft spread preserve. This is by far the easiest jam to make and tastes delicious too. I like my jam with chunks of strawberries in it - gives a feel of savoring the real fruit. 

So here goes my simple recipe for a mouthwatering strawberry preserve which would leave you yearning for more!!!

Strawberry Preserve

500 grams strawberries

300 grams sugar

Juice of 1 lemon

Wash and hull the strawberries. Then cut the fruit into half and the larger ones can be chopped into quarters.Put the strawberries in a preserving pan and simmer gently till they soften a bit.

The fruit simmering in the sugar syrup

Then add the sugar and stir on a low heat till the sugar dissolves. Then turn the heat up and add the lemon juice. Cook on a rolling boil till the setting point is reached. When thick enough to set ladle the jam into sterilized jars and seal. 

Try this simple recipe ... the result is nothing short of divine.

An Italian bake on a rainy day

It was a normal summer day in Delhi, hot and dusty. Evening brought in a dust storm and some unexpected but hugely welcomed showers.

After the rain petered out I quickly changed into my walking shoes for my evening walk, this is something which I thoroughly enjoy and so in spite of the not so pleasant weather it is still a regular feature. My walking track is usually Bengali Market where I am joined by a friend and we spend a couple of hours doing rounds of the park along with of course catching up on each other’s sundry news.

On the way back I popped across to Nathu's for their scrumptious garlic loaf, the cool weather was a perfect excuse to do away with the regular Indian supper and instead indulge in some baked. This dish is simply loved by everyone and I have made it often not only for family but also for guests and it always tastes amazing.The garlic bread  is the perfect accompaniment for this lovely dish and all that is needed is a  creamy tomato soup or a French onion soup and your meal is complete.

I forgot to buy corn but that is not such a major thing and so it still tasted wonderful though personally I love corn in the dish. This vegetable casserole can be prepared in advance and kept, needs to be baked just half an hour before serving.

This baked has been adapted from Tarla Dalal’s "Party Cooking" . It comes  high in my list of 'simple, quick to cook and great to eat'  dishes.

Corn and Aubergine (Eggplant) Bake

Serves 2

500 grams tomatoes

3-4 cloves garlic, crushed

1 onion, chopped

1 capsicum, chopped

1/2 teaspoon chilli powder

1 teacup cooked corn

1 teacup fried aubergine (eggplant) pieces

1 tablespoon oil
1/2 teaspoon sugar (optional)

Salt to taste

1/2 teacup white sauce

4 tablespoon grated cheese

Blanch the tomatoes for 10 minute in hot water till the skin comes out easily. Peel the skin and chop the tomatoes .

frying the eggplant

Heat oil in a pan and sauté the onions and crushed garlic for a couple of minutes till they turn translucent. Add the capsicum and fry for a couple of minutes. Add the chilli powder and chopped tomatoes and cook the mixture till the tomatoes become mushy and the sauce reaches a slightly thickish consistency.  I like to add some sugar to balance the tartness of the tomatoes but it is totally a personal choice.

The vegetable casserole

Now add the corn, eggplant(aubergine) and salt and mix well. Layer a baking dish with the vegetable mixture, top it with the white sauce and finish off with cheese on top.

Bake in a hot oven at 200 degree C (400 degree F) for 20 minutes till the cheese melts and starts bubbling. Serve hot with bread of choice.

A Rejuvenating Summer

It's been a lot of travelling of late, first the long haul from Delhi to New York and then on to Pittsburgh to attend my daughter's graduation (or commencement as they call in the States) ceremony.

Proud Parents

Have now come down to stay with my son who is working here in White Plains, New York. The weather has been wonderfully pleasant, and when it does get warm ... before you know, it rains and soon cools down.

A view from the apartment 

After a long time the whole family is together and are truly enjoying a lazy vacation - with no particular agenda - days are filled with sleeping long, roaming around in the markets picking up something here and there on sheer impulse. The only things that we planned and shopped for - a queen bed, curtains and an air conditioner. It's a great feeling for me ... being with my son  and helping him out to do  up his place (this thing of 'doing it up' is also a misnomer, today's kids live life on the move and unlike yesteryear when setting up home was a long drawn exercise stretching over a few years (for various reasons,either one did not have enough money to do up your house in a day or two or one had to wait endlessly to get the things one was exactly looking for as there were hardly enough choices available in the market). Nowadays,( and perhaps more so in the West) you can virtually set up your home in a weekend  ... rent an apartment in the morning, move the furniture in the afternoon, buy all the kitchen stuff online and decorative for the living room in the evening - buy a car the next day ... and by Jove you are all set. How things have changed in this jet set world!

After a very long time - each one of us are not just there.... but really together physically and emotionally, no stress about anything ... the son has no lectures to attend, no projects to submit, daughter is just done with her exams (she would start with her Master’s program only in Fall), the hubby has no mails to look into, no long office hours - and I too, have no compulsions of meeting customer commitments or looking after the household -  the family is spending the much touted and clichéd  'quality time' - if you will. Honestly, I don't buy this typical sleep deprived corporate slave coined  terminology -  'quality time' - for one should spend as much time as possible with family ... and be around them and share and savor every day moments.  This is what we all did - played poker, watched 'House of Cards', together, discussed friends and family, talked about small and why even the most inconsequential things - taught my son how to iron a shirt, learnt from my daughter how to make an absolutely finger-licking pasta, wandered (mostly aimlessly) in the super markets and shopped with them, watched movies (we saw 'Godzilla' yesterday ... pretty ordinary though it has got rave reviews here in the US), cooked meals together and then did the dishes as well, ate out and tried new restaurants, (the Cheesecake Factory ...it has some great tasting pastas, pizza and of course Cheesecake)

The famous franchise in White Plains

went to AMF and tried our hand at bowling,  checked out all possible ice cream flavors, went on hikes ... and just spent time together, as a family. All this is not just spending quality time but spending as much time as possible with family.

One would be amazed how much you learn about your family's likes, dislikes, their worries, interests, what moves them, what bothers them, what they care about - how they see their life - today and tomorrow when you just laze around and yap. You share so much with them and they with you and while we may not exactly agree on about everything, yet we all learn about each other and more importantly nurture the love and care we feel for each other. Family time is indeed your very own confession time - for whatever you may have done they would listen to you like no one else, understand where you are coming from and not judge you - being with them is cathartic and at the same time an eye opener - family loves you for what you are for they have nothing but your very best at heart.

Life is not just about achievements and accomplishments made in professional or work life - it is equally or perhaps more importantly about loving, caring and laughing with your loved ones.

My Daughter... make more like her !

It's a great feeling seeing my daughter blossom into this young woman - now all grown up and about to graduate. What do I say about my daughter, she is of course the apple of our eyes. Thinking of her takes me back to the time when she was born. She took her time alright ... was overdue by almost two weeks and even in the hospital came at her own pace - not one to be hurried up. As a newborn she was totally angelic no keeping us awake at night or being cranky - she was this perfect kid who did all the right things and made life very easy for us, living as we were far away from family.

Growing up she was a very self-possessed child and even as a two year old knew exactly what she wanted, would pick out her own clothes to wear ... seldom the one that I wanted her to wear - I always complain to her that she never gave me a chance to dress her up in girly stuff- to my chagrin she never took to wearing frocks.  She was a handful when it came to fighting for her equal but fair chance - be it her turn to sit in the front seat or the right to go second for a bath on a holiday or even her shot to control the TV remote. I took pride in her assertiveness, her independence and her feistiness.

Much as we educated Indians tend to believe that we give our daughter's an equal treatment at home - believe it or not, nothing could be far from truth. As she grew, I heard this often from my sis in law ... rein her 'she's a girl', I saw others giving less opportunity to daughters than to sons, in closed doors you heard -it’s all very well , that boys and girls are equal - the girl has to but get married. Such double standards ... I blissfully ignored this utter nonsense.

It was my endeavor to make sure that she lived her life on her own terms, even the mundane and minutiae was HER CHOICE ... she did what she wanted to, getting her hair done the way she wanted, taking up social causes like her fad to campaign against drugs or standing up for rights of LGBTs ... what interested her she took up, what boys she had for friends, partying late, having her first alcoholic drink - she is herself ... uninhibited, self-assured, confident, part bohemian,  non-judgmental ... not what exactly most women are allowed to be, in the constrained, near stifling Indian ethos which is colored and run by men.

 I don't know what the future has in store for her, what brickbats or plaudits come her way, but what I am absolutely certain about her is that she would be this amazing woman who would live her life with  chutzpah and more importantly, a whole lot of self-worth.

Now she is this young girl, the darling of the family. A very loving and caring sister (loves to buy things for her brother) - they are siblings in arms. Like any daughter, very indulgent towards her father - will not listen to anything against him. Her mother (and too a little lesser extent her father) is her punching bag ... somebody she can say whatever comes to her mind. She often jokes that no guy will measure up to my standards - which just might be true (to love as wholeheartedly and selflessly as parents do, is indeed a tall order). She fights me on trivial and not so trivial issues, gets real mad but then she makes up very quickly too.

Now as she stands on the cusp of adulthood, I see this poised young woman who has wings and wants to fly and it gives me a lot of contentment that this child of mine has grown into an independent thinking, free spirited young girl who speaks her mind and can stand up for herself.

This classic sonnet captures my daughter's vim and vigor, her persona beautifully !


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me. 

Maya Angelou 

Hyderabadi delicacy - 'Saalan' with a twist!

The lazy, languid summer days are here. Stepping outdoors can be quite trying (though to be fair it’s still quite tolerable inside the house), and already a lot of people (am I envious ...) have taken off for cooler climes. We have been prepping ourselves for the energy sapping heat by going heavy on musk melons, watermelons, green coconut and the like, basically anything that’s cool and keeps you feeling light. Since I am parked here and don't have any fancy vacation plans, just keeping my fingers crossed that our good luck (with relatively no power outages) lasts.

I am cooking very light, simple meals (nothing too spicy or oily) with all the summer vegetables lauki (bottle gourd), turai (ridge gourd), karela (bitter gourd), tinda (round gourd),  not exactly everyone's favorite vegetables but I like them, don't remember being fussy about eating them even as a child except once.  My father was posted to a new town. We were staying at the circuit house until we got government accommodation. At mealtime I finished everything on my plate except the turai ki sabji (ridge gourd vegetable) which I told my elder sister that I just wouldn't have. Now my eldest sister was not one to brook any nonsense, the very next minute she gave me a resounding whack for creating a fuss and I remember shedding some tears all the while taking spoonfuls off the vegetable. While the sum and substance of this incident for me has been that children do need some amount of disciplining and a little bit of firmness will not harm the child - I just could not get myself to mete out the same punishment to my children ... at least not for something as inconsequential as what they would willingly bite into and what they would not like to - guess times have changed and you need to be smart about picking your battles with your children today. Of course any martinet might still adhere to the proverbial, spare the rod and spoil the child dictum! As for both my children they would rather go hungry then eat all this so when they are around two types of meals are cooked - 'desi' one for us parents because eating their pastas and Mexican and Sushi everyday is not my cup of tea.

But every once in a while on weekend I get tempted to try out something more elaborate. I got some lovely aubergines (eggplant) from the vegetable market the other day and wanted to try something different then my usual stuffed 'baingans' (brinjal). Leafed through some old recipe books and came across something that I hadn't made before- a 'saalan' recipe for aubergines. Mirchi ka saalan is a great Hyderabadi dish and features on the menu in all their special occasions. This recipe is a real winner - the 'saalan' paste tastes wonderful without being overpowering. I would definitely be making it more often as we enjoyed it very much. An interesting aside to this vegetable is that it is universally popular because of its versatility and not unsurprisingly finds its place in different cuisines - the Greek Moussaka and the Middle Eastern Baba Ghanoush. In America, Australia and Canada it's called eggplant (as in Eggplant Parmigiana), whereas the Brits know it as aubergine and as brinjal in South East Asia and South Africa and of course for us Indians it's the good old baingan of the bharta fame.

Mirch Baingan Ka Saalan / Eggplant and Green Chilli Curry

300 gms small eggplants (baingan)

100 gms , big green chillies

Refined or Mustard oil 60 ml

5 gms mustard seeds

5 gms fresh curry leaves

180 ml curd

10 gms turmeric powder

5 gms chilli powder

20 gms ginger paste

150 ml lemon juice

2 gm cumin powder

2 gm garam masala

2 gm dry fenugreek leaves (kasturi methi)

For the Saalan Paste

30 gms sesame seeds (til)

30 gms fresh grated coconut

20 gms peanuts

100 gms onion

20 gm ginger

Roast sesame seeds, dice the onions and chop the ginger. Put all of these along with coconut, peanuts and a little water in a food processor and blend the ingredients finely to make the saalan paste.

Partially slit green chillies into two and the eggplants (aubergine) into four but still joined to the stem. Lightly grease and bake the chillies and eggplant in a moderately hot oven till almost done or you could fry them too for that extra flavor.

For the gravy add mustard seeds in hot oil till they crackle. Add the curry leaves, yoghurt and saalan paste. Fry for four- five minutes. Add turmeric, chilli powder and lemon juice and let the combination simmer for six-eight minutes. Add the baked eggplants and green chillies to the gravy. Stir gently. Cook till the vegetables are done. Sprinkle cumin powder, garam masala and crushed fenugreek leaves. Serve hot.

This Eggplant/Aubergine/ Brinjal and Green Chilli Curry is a popular accompaniment with Biryani.

I'm Okay, You're Okay...

Here I am at my desk, penning this post, ruminating on the harrowing time (though self inflicted) I had last week. It all started with a visit to the doctor a month back. In my case, such calls to a "Doc" happen only when it becomes utterly imperative ... this was one of those times.

Now, I might not have any faith in government systems but when it comes to hospitals I still swear by the government run ones. My reasoning is simple, nothing to beat the experience that the doctors here have, which comes from the sheer number of patients that they go through (the private ones engender no such confidence - mere gloss with little substance). At the end of the day, it is a question of faith ... the surroundings are definitely not inspiring, however rundown government hospital may look they work better particularly when it comes to diagnosis (better than the mercenary like 5 star hospitals). At least that is what I have always experienced with lot of government run services (my MTNL phone for one has not konked off even a single day in the last eight years - so that's that).

Came back from the doc pretty upbeat. Per her, I was fit as a fiddle - though she did prescribe some tests and there was a steely glint in her voice when she told me to definitely get them done (she must have realized that I was one of those careless ones who would avoid it at any cost). Sure enough the procrastinator that I am, the tests were promptly relegated as a TBD.

Having been brought up on a very healthy diet and with some good genes to boot, was able to sail through the years with minor ailments. Being under the weather for long was not something I thought could happen to me - guess one of the remnants of youthful cockiness.

It all started very innocuously, slight problem here, a little niggling ache there - did not pay much heed to it thinking it would go away. But it persisted and caused a twinge every now and then, I was slightly troubled ... cursing myself for skipping the tests.  By the end of the week the inactivity and worry had so eaten into me ... whether it was a sign of hypochondria or otherwise a significant proportion of my body ached. I was now shaken up enough to even skip the daily walk with my friend. By this time my mind was on an overdrive and I was busy researching the net. My symptoms corresponded with a lot of illnesses which did not make me feel any better. Imagining the worst I was quietly going crazy.

Then some sense got into me when I was practically at the end of my tether and all drained with the tension. Decided to take some self help measures - diligently followed them and thankfully the positive attitude helped- there was some quick relief and I felt somewhat chastened for being so self obsessed.

My daughter of course was not going to let me off so easily, her concern quickly turned to mirth at my neuroticism. Thank god for friends who still give you a patient hearing and sympathize with you even when you might be just crying wolf.

Though, all this aside it was also a wake-up call, I am more conscious than ever before of eating healthy, am not so blasé about my well being. It takes some time to come to terms with the fact that recovery would not be as quick as it was in the 20's and 30's and though my spirit would like to believe that but my body will not be in tandem with any such delusional thoughts.

So here are my takeaways and perhaps yours too, post 30's - take good care of yourself and your health- eat wisely; timely medical checkups are a must so do not miss them ; and finally understand this well ... you are your own best friend so fight off those low moments if they ever creep in.

What I gained in all this brouhaha was the hubby's attention, something to remember for the next time when he turns a complete workaholic.